I Talked About Fish Getting Drunk, and It Went Downhill from There

Okay, so I have a story that’s honestly so painfully embarrassing but also kinda funny because it’s just one of those “you had to be there” moments.

So I was at work, it’s a pretty chill place — small office, mostly stuffy meetings and coffee breaks. We had this new intern, let’s call him Tim. He’s super eager but also kinda awkward, which is fine. I get it, new environments make everyone a little weird. Anyway, one day I was talking to a couple of colleagues about some stupid TV show, and I wanted to sound more intelligent, so I decided to mention this fun fact I read recently about how *some* fish can actually get drunk from eating fermented fruit. Yeah, I know. Real classy.

In the middle of my “fun fact,” I turn to Tim, who’s just standing nearby, and I say, “Hey Tim, did you know that some fish get *drunk* from fermented fruit? It’s kinda like emulating college kids during spring break.”

Big mistake.

Tim, without missing a beat, totally takes it literally, and he goes, “Wow, really? Are you saying fish *party* too?”

I freeze. Because I realize I’ve just given a room full of people a mental image of fish chugging beer or some crap. The silence is deafening. I quickly try to backpedal, saying “Haha, no no, I mean like… you know, *scientifically*,” but it’s too late. Tim’s eyes are wide, and he looks super excited, just going, “So… fish get *drunk*? Like us?”

Everyone’s staring at me now — some smirking, some outright laughing. I just nod awkwardly and change the subject to “more serious” stuff, which I clearly failed at.

And the weirdest part? Turns out, I wasn’t making that up entirely… there’s actual research about fish and alcohol. Apparently, certain fish do get affected by fermented fruits or alcohol substances in nature. So I somehow managed to embarrass myself with a half-true, totally nerdy fact, while also making fish sound like partiers.

Moral of the story: never talk about drunk fish unless you’re prepared for laughs or awkward questions.

And also, maybe stick to the basics next time, idiot.