Accidentally Turned my Criminology Presentation into a Porno

Alright fuckos, I don't even want to live in my skin after this fucking travesty. So, we're amidst this mandatory group project shitstorm in my criminology class and get this — I end up with the fucking trifecta of imbeciles. One doesn't even show up, another is too high to know what planet he's fucking on, and the last one just eats spicy Cheetos the entire time and asks if anyone has seen her pet lizard. Yes, Suzie, we've all fucking seen your lizard. But Christ on a cracker, we have a presentation to suffer through!

Anyway, we're presenting our project on 'Prison industrial complex and its impact on disadvantaged communities' and Stoner McGee — bless his cotton socks — thought it'd be a stellar idea to make a PowerPoint full of fucking alien emojis because he genuinely thinks prison is like an alien abduction. Fuck my life. So, we get up to present and another fucking glorious turn of events — peppered Cheetos girl has bright orange fingers and face because apparently napkins don't exist in her universe. And me? I try to salvage this trainwreck, but I get so flustered I say, "Welcome to our presentation on the Prison Industrial Conplex and its impact on disavantaged cummunities." Yeah, you read that right, I fucking said "cummunities." My professor snorted soda out of his nose, the entire class was laughing and I swear I saw Satan himself waving at me from the fiery pits of hell. So fuck group projects, fuck this class, and fuck my life. I'm changing my major.

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