The Day I Accidentally Toured My Own Online Funeral

So, I’ve got a story that’s honestly still making me cringe a year later. Like, sometimes I just sit there staring at my phone and thinking, “Why did I do that?” and then I remember this whole disaster. It’s one of those social media “regret” stories that you hear about, but when it’s you, it hits differently.

Okay, so here’s the scoop. Last summer, I was super bored at work—like, the kind of boredom that kills your brain cells, and I decided to do something *brilliant* (or so I thought at the time). I’d post a selfie, you know, to get some likes and maybe feel a tiny bit alive. I rarely post on my main account, so that in itself was kinda risky. I mean, I’m not a social media influencer or anything—I just wanted to feel a little seen.

So I chose a selfie. Nothing special, just my tired face after a long day, but I threw on some makeup and smiled. Classic. Tagged a few friends, some vague humor, and boom, hits post. Now, here’s where the *genius* part kicks in—I thought, hey, why not spice it up? So I added a caption: “Living my best life, even if it looks like I’m about to pass out,” or something like that. It was supposed to be funny.

Fast forward a few minutes, I start getting notifications—likes, comments, the usual. Then, the comments started rolling in, and I noticed one from someone I don’t really talk to—let’s call him Dave. Dave is a guy I went to high school with, super chill, but his comment? It was something like, “Wow, you look like you’re about to die LOL.” Okay, fine, not the nicest comment, but whatever. People joke around all the time, right?

Then, I go through some more comments, and suddenly, I notice a lot of people commenting questions, stuff like “Are you okay?” or “Geez, you look tired.” And I’m thinking, wait… did I look that bad? I mean, I was tired, but it wasn’t that bad, right? Then I realize—they’re not joking. I look at the picture again, and oh my sweet mother of *f***, what was I thinking?

Turns out, I’d accidentally taken a really unflattering selfie. The lighting was horrible, but I was so tired I didn’t notice my eyes were half-closed, and I looked like I was about to cry or something. My hair was a mess because I’d just come from the gym, and I’d forgotten to brush it. Plus, I was making a goofy face because I didn’t wanna look serious. But the internet? Oh, it saw right through that.

People started DM’ing me — mostly weird shit, honestly. Some random guys sliding into my inbox with “You look like you need a hug” or “You okay, pretty girl?” I didn’t reply because what do you say? I looked like I’d just been through a tornado, but apparently I’d also just signed my online death warrant.

Now, the *worst* part—my boss, who I hadn’t even thought about seeing that post, casually scrolls through social media on their lunch break and *sees that*. I swear, I wanted to disappear. The next day, I was called into HR, and I thought I was gonna get fired. Nope! Just a warning about “professional conduct,” but let me tell you—things *felt* a lot worse than they actually were. Still, I was mortified.

Oh, and let’s not forget the *humbling* part. My best friend, who saw the post before I could hide it, kept teasing me for weeks. “Did you see how you looked? Like a lost puppy,” she’d say, cracking up every time. I still can’t believe I even posted it. I thought I was just being funny or relatable, but I basically posted a “please bully me online” sign.

Honestly, that experience taught me a lot about online life—the quickness of how things can blow up, how unpredictable people are, and that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t post when I look like I’m about to cry. Or at least check the mirror better.

Anyway, moral of the story? Social media is a *hell* of a place. Sometimes it makes you feel on top of the world, other times, like I did—exposed, humiliated, and questioning every life choice. Still, I laugh about it now, mostly because I’m glad I didn’t get canceled or something worse. But yeah, that’s my “social media regret” saga—if you’re gonna post that ugly selfie, just remember, the internet NEVER forgets.

—