The Unicorn Party Disaster"

This is dedicated to my best friend Sarah, and the most idiosyncratic, disastrous, and epically awkward party I ever attended.

So, it was Sarah’s 25th birthday - quarter century life crisis and all that jazz. Being a drama queen, she decided to throw a "Unicorn and glitter" themed party at her place. Now, honestly, I'd rather watch paint dry than get dressed up like a unicorn and toss glitter everywhere, but hey! It's your best friend's birthday - you participate.

I arrive, and the party is in full swing. Glitter *everywhere*. I swear, there was even glitter in the toilet bowl. It was like a unicorn had exploded all over the house. Stupidly, Sarah had laid down fresh carpet the week prior, so that poor rug was doomed.

Enter the drama. Sarah, after a few too many rainbow cocktails, decides to sit down and have a heart to heart with Mike, her ex. Yeah, they broke up a year ago, but he was still in the friend group so he got an invite by default. *Facepalm*

Sarah is sobbing and glitter is everywhere. Mike looks like a deer caught in headlights. Then, out of nowhere, Sarah’s current boyfriend, Nick, decides it is the perfect time to propose. Yes, Nick, because nothing says ‘romantic proposal’ like your girlfriend bawling, smeared with glitter, and conversing with her ex.

Things go from bad to weird when Nick gets down on one knee and opens the ring box, a freakin’ glitter bomb explodes! Nick had hidden it in the box to make the proposal extra 'magical'. The result was a glitter bomb explosion, and people coughing up sparkles for a week.

I wish I could say that was the end of it. But no. The glitter set off the smoke detectors, which then triggered the sprinkler system. So, there we were, soaked, shiny, and shocked, while Sarah sat there with an expression that couldn’t decide between shock, happiness, and horror.

In the end, Sarah said yes, though it took her a good half hour to stop crying, and another hour to clean up the water damage. The rest of us were left with the kind of nightmarish memories that make for epic storytelling and a serious aversion to glitter.

So folks, moral of the story – don’t mix exes, proposals, and glitter bombs. Also, there's still glitter in my underwear...

" " "