The Epic Saga of My First Paycheck

Wow, guys, I gotta tell you about my first paycheck experience. It’s kinda funny and kinda heartbreaking all at once. I still remember the day I got my first real job, like, actual adulting moment. I was so hyped I could barely sleep the night before. I mean, I’d been working part-time jobs in high school—dishwashing, retail, even a brief stint as a pet sitter—nothing prepared me for this big moment.

My first full paycheck from my summer gig at a local call center. I’d made about $1,200 after taxes for a month of answering phones and dealing with angry customers. I was so proud, like I was finally a real grown-up. I brought my paycheck home, stared at it for a solid 20 minutes, imagining all the *amazing* stuff I’d buy with it.

The first thing I did? I went straight to the mall. Obviously. Instead of budgeting or saving, I bought a pair of sneakers that cost more than my entire first paycheck. They were supposed to be “incredibly comfortable,” but honestly, they just made my feet hurt after a day of walking around. Still, I strutted around like I was the shit.

The next day, I finally wanted to see what I looked like depositing this glorious check. I’d never used a bank before, so I was genuinely excited. I go to my bank, and the teller asks me if I want to deposit it in the ATM or tell her to do it *for me*. I’m like, “Uh, ATM, I guess?” I didn’t realize you could just deposit a check directly.

So I walk up to the ATM, trying to figure out how to put the check in. I shove it in wrong, and it gets stuck. I start panicking. The machine keeps beeping at me like I’m an idiot. Several random people start gathering around, watching me struggle. I finally pull the check out, hair all frazzled, and try again. This time, it goes in, but I see the screen flash something about “Verify your identity.” I’m clueless and just hit OK.

While I’m doing that, I see this lady next to me kind of chuckling. She’s like, “You know it’s easier just to go inside, right?” I nod, embarrassed as hell, and walk in to the bank. The banker kindly helps me — turns out I just needed to endorse the back of the check and fill out a quick form. *Duh.* But I swear, for a second I felt like I was in some kind of episode of a financial sitcom.

After depositing, I had this bright idea to set aside most of the check into my savings. Everyone told me, “Save for a rainy day,” so I was proud of myself for being ‘responsible’. But nooo, the moment I get home, I realize I’m broke again because I instantly spent a hundred bucks on pizza, a new gaming mouse, and a bunch of junk I didn’t need. Yeah, welcome to adulting.

Now, here’s the kicker: I told myself I’d keep track of my expenses. Like a real adult. So I write everything down in this tiny notebook I found. Two days later, I forget about it, and I wake up to find the notebook buried under my laundry. And my phone’s dead, so I have no records. I try to remember how much I spent, but honestly, it’s all a blur of overpriced coffee, Uber rides, and snacks.

And probably the funniest part? I was so proud of myself that I finally paid my share of rent — $300 — and I was feeling like such a boss. But then I realized I accidentally paid the rent twice because I got mixed up with my banking app. So yeah, I spent half my paycheck just to pay rent, and I felt like a complete moron.

But honestly? It’s been a rollercoaster. I learned a lot, even if I still spend like I’m made of money (spoiler: I’m not). The first paycheck is this weird mix of excitement, defeat, pride, and total chaos. And every time I get paid now, it’s a tiny victory. Still, I’ll never forget that first deposit—stuck checks, bad budgeting, and all the mess. That’s what honesty and adulting are all about, right?