The Great Blood Pressure Panic of 2023

Okay, so I’ve gotta admit, I’ve had some *brilliant* doctor visit disasters over the years. But one that’s still pretty fresh in my mind was just painfully awkward and kinda hilarious in hindsight. Here goes:

So, I’ve always been a pretty anxious person when it comes to hospitals and doctor visits. Like, as soon as I hear “blood test” or “physical exam,” I start sweating. Anyway, I had been feeling off for a while—mild stuff like fatigue, occasional dizziness—nothing major but enough to make me panic and finally decide to see my GP.

So, I book the appointment. It’s the middle of winter, freezing outside, and I wear my usual “let’s get this over with” hoodie and jeans. I get to the clinic, check in, and wait. The nurse calls me in; I’m already nervous, but I try to act normal. We go through the usual questions: “Any allergies? Medications? Past surgeries?” I answer, feeling my stomach twist.

Then, she tells me the doctor will see me soon. Like, okay, cool. After a few minutes, this tall, serious-looking doctor enters. Looked like he just stepped out of a medical journal, honestly. Very professional but kind of intimidating. He shakes my hand, starts the exam, and asks me to lie down for some quick checks.

That’s when things get weird. The doctor pulls out this small device—a stethoscope? No, wait, not a stethoscope. A weird little gadget that I’d never seen before. He mumbles something about checking my heart and lungs, and then I feel this cold, metallic object touching my chest.

Now, here’s where I blame my brain — instead of just relaxing and thinking it’s all routine, I panic a little. Because I realize I haven’t eaten anything in hours, and I’m super nervous. So, I start sweating again. Plus, I’m trying to breathe evenly, but suddenly, I get this terrible thought: What if I faint right here? The room’s spinning a little.

Then, out of nowhere, the doctor says, “Okay, I’m going to check your blood pressure now.” And I think, “Fine, no biggie.” He pulls out that cuff thing, wraps it around my arm, and then… the fun begins.

He starts pumping. And pumping. The thing is, I’m wearing a long-sleeve hoodie. I’m pretty sure I was wearing a little woolly layer underneath, which isn’t exactly something you want to be squeezing with a cuff. But whatever, I let him do his thing.

Then he stops, looks at the monitor, and instantly his face changes. Like, he looks puzzled — not the usual “your numbers are fine” look. No, he’s concerned. So, I ask, “Is everything okay?” Because I kind of know that look. And he says, “Your blood pressure’s… well, it’s quite high.”

I freeze. Because… I don’t know *how* my blood pressure shot up in like, ten minutes? I mean, I haven’t had anything spicy, no caffeine, and I’d been trying to stay calm (which is *impossible* for me). The doctor keeps looking at the chart. Then he asks if I’m feeling dizzy or faint. I say, “Uh, yeah… kind of? And I’m also sweating like I just ran a marathon.”

He looks serious now, and he says, “We need to do a few more checks,” but I’m already internally panicking. Like, “Is this the moment I keel over here?” I think I’m about to pass out, honestly.

Then, as if his day couldn’t get any more interesting, he reaches for his phone and says, “I need to check your heart with an EKG.” Well, I have no clue how EKGs work, but all I know is that they clip these tiny pads on your chest and arms, right? So I lie back, and he starts sticking all these electrodes on me. One on the wrist, one on the ankle — no, wait, two on the chest.

While he’s doing that, I notice something. I’m wearing a hoodie with a giant zipper. And because I’m sweaty and nervous, the zipper just keeps sliding down my chest, revealing everything. I mean, I was wearing a tank top underneath (thank God), but still — I must’ve looked like some kind of nervous, sweaty mess with electrodes stuck everywhere, chest partly exposed, and this awkward grin on my face.

Finally, the EKG runs, and he reviews the results. Looks at me, then at the screen, and *frowns*. “Your heart’s beating fine, no irregularities,” he says, “but your blood pressure is definitely high for your age.”

I feel this mix of relief and embarrassment. Who gets nervous enough to spike their blood pressure just from worry? Then he hands me a paper, says, “You should get some rest, maybe cut down on caffeine, and come back if anything changes.”

I stumble out feeling like a total mess, and as I leave, I realize I forgot to mention I’d also accidentally knocked over the water jug on my way in. So, the whole room was filled with this awkward silence, me blushing, and him trying to pretend he hadn’t seen the mess.

Honestly, the most *awkward* part? During the whole blood pressure check, I kept trying to flex my arm to get the cuff to fit better but kept failing. And I kept sneezing, thanks to the terrible cold I caught that week, which made my blood pressure readings even worse because I was panicking I looked ridiculous.

TL;DR: went for a simple doctor’s appointment, got a panic attack disguised as legit health issues, got my blood pressure skyrocketing just because I was so nervous, and looked like I’d been electrocuted with electrodes all over my chest. Every time I think about it, I want to crawl out of my skin. If you’re super anxious about doctors, just remember—we’ve all been there. It’s embarrassing but hilarious in hindsight.

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