Jumper Girl: The H&M Debacle"

Sheesh, guys, you won’t believe the absolute nightmare that unfolded on what was supposed to be a casual day out shopping. Personally, I’m willing to go through water, brimstone and Bellatrix Lestrange to snag a sale, but this . . . this was something else.

Okay, so setting the scene: It was an absolutely frigid day outside, alright? I was buried under enough layers to make a polar bear jealous, including my favorite jumper which was so old it had started to fray in places.

Anyway, I'm strolling down the High Street, bobbing in and out of shops like an eager Easter Bunny when I spy the ultimate temptation - the haven for the financially flawed, the gatherer of guilty splurges, otherwise known as the Sales rack at H&M.

If there was any doubt about where I would be for the next half hour, it flew out of the nearest exit. Now, I don’t mess around in the sales racks, you guys. It’s a real Hunger Games situation. I had three sweaters hanging on one arm and was fishing out a fourth one with eagle-like precision when I felt a tiny *tug* at the hem of my jumper.

Instinctively, I looked down, and that's when I saw it: My favorite jumper - the thread-bare, wholly familiar one - was literally getting caught on every possible thing: hangers, tags, even the goddamn security cable thingy. The worst part? The tiny pulls were turning into sizeable holes faster than I could say "wardrobe malfunction".

But wait, it gets worse.

While I'm panicking and attempting a hasty unravel, the enticing sales rack decides to topple like the leaning tower of Pisa. And yours truly right in the epicenter of this sartorial earthquake.

So, here's the sight if you’d walked by: Loyal shopper, caught in her fraying jumper, surrounded by a fallen clothes rack and an alarmingly large crowd. Swear to god, I was a pile of cotton and embarrassment.

Long story short, guys, that's how I found myself frantically untangling in the middle of the H&M sales rack, with a mortified expression and the dubious title of “Jumper Girl” echoing through the store.

Hah, I guess it’s true, everything comes with a price. Including shopping from the sale section in a pulling-prone jumper. Quote me on that if ever you land in the same soup.

" " "