My 7-Year-Old Fart Ninja's Confession

Hey everyone, I gotta tell you about something that just happened in my house yesterday. It’s one of those moments where you’re simultaneously mortified, laughing, and wondering if I should start locking the door to my kid’s room permanently.

So, I have a 7-year-old daughter named Emma. She’s super sweet—most of the time. Yesterday, I was in the kitchen, kinda humming along while I was making lunch. The door to her room was open just a crack because she was playing with her dolls. Out of nowhere, I hear her shout from inside, “Mom! Guess what? I think I just farted in her eye and she didn’t even notice!”

I freeze. I mean, what?! I peek into her room and she’s sitting cross-legged on her bed, clutching a Barbie doll with the most serious face. “Did you really just say that?” I ask. Emma looks at me, totally straight-faced, and goes, “Yeah. That’s how you know you’re a true fart ninja.”

I about lost it. I was trying not to laugh because she kept deadpan. Then she piped up again, “I farted really loud during nap time today, and I think my teacher heard it because she looked at me weird. But I played it cool.”

Like, girl, you’re *seven*. She’s out here claiming she’s a fart ninja and *playing it cool* when she’s probably just practicing for total domination in the farting world. I swear, I’ve never had a kid who’s so unabashedly proud of farting.

And the best part? She kept going on about how she’s thinking of joining the “Fart Ninja Club” at school. I mean, what do you say to that? Do I encourage her? Do I tell her to be a little more discreet? Nah, she’s seven. Let her be a fart ninja.

But seriously, the stuff kids say… it’s pure gold. They have zero filter, and honestly, some days I just want to see what bombshells come out of their mouths. Yesterday just proved that kids say the *worst* stuff but in the funniest way possible.

Also, a quick tip: if your kid ever tells you they farted in someone’s eye, just nod and pretend it’s normal because honestly, I’m just trying to survive parenting one fart ninja at a time.

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