My Disastrous First Year in College – Rambling, Ramen, and Rookie Mistakes
Hey guys, ok, so I gotta tell you about my *epic* freshman year fail... it’s basically a montage of every mistake I could possibly make if I was trying to screw up big time in college. Honestly, I wouldn’t even change a thing because it’s hilarious now, but man, was I a mess back then.
So, I get to campus, fresh off the hype of moving out of my parents’ house and finally being “independent.” First thing I do—go grocery shopping alone for the first time ever. I mean, simple, right? Nope. I ended up buying like 10 boxes of instant ramen and zero actual food. Because I thought, oh, ramen is cheap, and I’ll be fine. Spoiler: I was not fine. Got so bored of ramen I started craving *anything* else, including just plain bread because I’d forgotten to buy any real snacks.
Then there was orientation. Or more like, the *disaster* that was orientation. We had this icebreaker game where you had to say your name and your favorite hobby, then pass a ball. I was super nervous, so I just blurted out “uh… eating snacks?” and everybody looked at me like I was a freak. To make it worse, I had a huge crush on someone in my dorm, and I totally flubbed talking to them because I overthought everything. So I just ended up ghosting them for weeks. Classic.
But the real kicker was my first class. It was calculus. Yeah. First time seeing the subject in my life, and I thought, “Hey, I’m pretty smart, I’ll be fine.” Nope. The professor started talking, I nodded along... then totally zoned out. The next thing I know, half the class is done, and I have no clue what’s going on. The test? I think I wrote some *absurd* equations that made no sense because I was too busy trying to impress a girl I barely knew. Spoiler: I failed that test. Like, materially. It was so bad I don’t think I even submitted one page.
Sleep? Forget about it. I kept staying up super late because I thought, “Wow, I have so much freedom now, I can party all night.” Ended up sleeping through my early morning lectures more often than I care to admit. One time, I set my alarm for 7 am, but I was so tired I just turned it off and kept sleeping. When I finally woke up, I had like 10 missed calls from my roommate who was mad because I missed my first big group project meeting. That’s when I learned that *being* responsible is a whole different ballgame.
Oh, and students’ parties? Nah, I thought I’d be cool and go to one. Went with a few friends, but I honestly had no idea what I was doing. Ended up sneaking a bottle of cheap beer into the party, then spilling it all over myself in front of a bunch of strangers when I was trying to *look* relaxed. Yeah. Way to make a *fantastic* first impression.
Honestly, the worst mistake of all? Underestimating how much I’d miss home and how clueless I was about *anything*. I thought college was just about partying and freedom, but it turns out, a lot of it is just trying to keep your head above water while pretending you’re fine. My first year was basically a series of awkward, embarrassing moments that I now laugh about. Still, big lessons learned: never buy ramen for a week straight, pay attention in class, and never, ever underestimate the power of a good nap.
Anyway, if you’re starting college soon—brace yourself. It’s gonna be a mess, but it’s also the funniest, weirdest time you’ll ever have. Just don’t do what I did… or do. Because honestly, it’s probably better that way.
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