My Stomach's an Insect Hive & They Taste Like My Ex

Okay, okay, alright, listen to this shit. So for the past 5 nights in a row, my dreams have been insisting, like some belligerent bulldog hopped up on bath salts, that I've got an insect hive living in my stomach. Yeah, you heard me right, a creepy crawly bug fucking condominium nestled between my small intestine and spleen. How's that for nightmare fuel huh? I mean, it was so vivid, I could taste the honey. I even went to the GP, told her the same, and after she stopped laughing, she jabbed me with a pen right in the gut just to check.

There's this one part of the dream I remember...I wake up, already feeling like shit, lift up my shirt and see this wriggling, pulsating mass in my stomach. I can actually feel them, the little creatures, all buzzing and shit, making honey or whatever the hell insects do. At this point, it's pure David Cronenberg level body horror, but my dream-self somehow thought, "yeah, let's just roll with it." So guess what? Out of all the possible reflex reactions like running to the hospital, hurling, etc., I start to eat some toast with the honey they produced. Just the memory of that taste is making me gag. And just when you think it couldn't get any weirder, my ex's face appears on every little bug. How fucked up is that?

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